Survival Mode Has To Go - 02

Miranda leigh stull: Welcome back. I am so excited that you are here for the second part of Made for More. Wow, this is the second episode. This is crazy. For those of you who do not know me, my name is Miranda. I am a woman who is just hungry for more of the Lord, for more purpose, for more identity and who I am created to be, but also giving that to you guys. I'm so excited that you are here. Whether you are listening in for the second time, whether you are new here, I just want you to know that you have a seat at the table. You are welcome here and I'm so excited for you. So just in first and foremost, I just want to say welcome back, friends. Seriously. Like this is such a fun thing for me to be able to have a moment to come and to just like unplug from the world out there and really just be able to come in here with you guys and just be, you know, the amount of messages and conversations and stories that came in. After the first hangout that we've had together was so awesome and it truly impacted me so deeply. And this is why this matters. You know, it confirmed to me that this is something that I felt for such a long time that women are hungry for real conversations to create healing, freedom, and truth, not perfection. Okay. Just real talk. And today we're talking about something that I truly believe that most women at some point have experienced in their life. And it is survival mode. Okay. So If this is something that you maybe have been in a season that you went through, maybe you're going through it right now. Maybe you're like, what the heck is even survival mode? I have no idea. There is a space for you here, friend. I'm all about whether you have gone through it or maybe you know somebody who's going through it, or maybe it's a season of preparation for when you do go through it. I believe that there is a reason these words were given to me today be to be able to share with you guys and ⁓ to invite you into a space to actually look at it. Little bit deeper and understanding what even is it and why does it exist and how the heck do I get out of it? Right. Honestly, I believe that many women have been living there for so long that they don't even realize that they're there. I can tell you, I was so there. Absolutely. They I think often that they're like, ⁓ this is just what it is to be an adult. This is just what motherhood is, you know, this is what just being a wife is or a spouse or a partner or a girlfriend, you know, this is what just being a boss is, this is just what responsibility is, this is just life. You know, but I want challenge that today. I really want to challenge that because I believe that there is a difference between carrying responsibility and living emotionally trapped in constant survival. And I truly believe that God wants his daughters free from that today. Okay. So that being said, right now, today, I you know, I really just feel like we're here to talk about survival mode and just letting you know who the woman is beneath the pressure, why so many of us feel exhausted. Healing that survival version of you. What does that look like? And just to let you know that God truly did not just create for you to survive. So if that sounds exciting to you, lean in. It's gonna get juicy. It's gonna get fun. It's gonna get wild. It's probably gonna get a little hard, maybe because it's gonna challenge you to look from within. If you are actually doing the work to go deeper, not just listening, but allowing for it to hit here and for it to hit here to have transformation. Okay. So First and foremost, as I did last time, I'd like to do that again this time, is facken this baby up with some scripture. Why is this even a thing? I don't want you to think that these are just my words coming in. Also, I want you to know that there is, you know, thought done, like RAN behind why we are talking the way that we are. And I told you guys last session, you didn't actually listen in and hang out on last podcast yet, that's okay. But I will first and foremost tell you as a believer Of the Lord, you're gonna hear me constantly talk about the Lord because he radically changed my life in so many ways. I am so not the same person. I love it. I have been married for nine years. I love my husband very deeply. He and I have been on a roller coaster of a journey. But let me tell you, the Lord redeemed and restored and healed. And I that is another reason that I have meant to go deeper with healing ministry on here to let you know that you're not alone through what you're going through because your girl has been through it. And also a mama of four amazing babies. And I have my third baby here and I love him. He is seventeen years old and it's so funny because so much of my life he has been there and he has walked this journey with me since I was twenty one years old and I'm now thirty seven and he truly is everything to me. Right. ⁓ yeah. I actually got him whenever I was twenty. Going into being 21. And so he's been there with me my like my adult life, which is so cool. So let me tell you something about those for babies. Give them love because whether you like it or not, whether you know it or not, it heals you by having them. So I'm grateful for my little buddy, but ⁓ and the community around me, man. Without the women in my journey, ⁓ the mentors and the the friends that I have and the space that we've created, holy man, I don't know that I'd be able to have the realization that I have had. in this journey of my life to be able to reflect my life, to be able to force correct and to be able to give you guys what I feel like Holy Spirit's giving me to give to you. So that being said, we're gonna go a little bit deeper into scripture and we're gonna give a little bit of context of what does this actually look like. And then we are going to go into some testimony time. Okay. Let's go. So the scripture that I want to build this ⁓ I want to be able to call it an episode, this hangout with us around is John 10 10. The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it to the full. Okay. Resonate with that for a second. The thief, meaning the enemy. Okay. We all know that heaven and hell, whether you know of God yet, you're teetering on that fence or you're like, I don't know about this, like you guys are kind of wild. I get it. I get it. It's okay. Just lean in. Okay. One thing I will tell you that is true. If you don't think for one second that you are in a spiritual war every single day, like now is the time to actually like rewire your thinking to understand that you are. Heaven and hell is both fighting for you every single day. It's just a matter of which one are you gonna give into. And I will tell you, the thief, right? Which is what scripture says is the enemy. He comes in to distort and to, you know, get you off of the truth and and and to make you think, even if you go back to Adam and Eve, right back in in Genesis, if you guys maybe know of Genesis, you know, the beginning of the Bible, whenever God created everything, right? And there was man and woman. And what he did, okay, he was there as a servant to to attempt to distort the way that Eve specifically and then Adam ⁓ knew of the truth. They were told to do something by the Lord and the enemy just took it and said, Did God actually say that? And it made them be like, wait a minute, I don't did did he actually say that? I don't know. Right? I'm just giving very minimal context. I highly encourage you just go read the word. Go start with Genesis. It's it's a wild journey. Okay. Just to understand why you're even here, why you're even breathing. What does this actually look like? Where did you come from? The Bible has every answer that you're looking for, my friends. But that being said He is known as the thief. So he comes to try to take from you, lie to you, destroy you. Okay. But the word states that God, Jesus, okay, came here to die on a cross for us. He lived a perfect, sinless life to be able to set us free. You talk about love. That is deep. Okay. And again, this might be new to you. This might be something as a old refresh, or you're like, I don't even believe in that. Again, that's okay. But I'm here to tell you what the word says. And I believe that the word is living and it is breathing. And I believe that I know that I have an enemy that tries to come for me every single day. And he has tried for over the thirty-seven years of my life, ever since before I was even a baby in the womb. Okay. And I can probably guarantee you at least try to do it to you too. Because if you are listening and you are leaning in, that means there's more than likely power from within you. within you that you know that is there that it's almost like it needs to be resurrected. Okay. And I believe that the more that we're gonna lean in to truth, not even just this this moment, this podcast, this hangout together, but you even get yourself into the meat and potatoes and understanding context behind the word, guys, I can promise you, it is going to give revelation into your life and understand why you are even here. Okay. But coming back to the whole idea of Getting rid of survival mode, okay. I think so many know that God loves them. So many women know that God loves them, guys, but they don't actually believe that abundant life is available for them too. You know, not just someday. Not just once the kids are older, not just once the businesses slow down, or once they heal completely, or once life becomes perfect. Like, no. Now, right here, right now. Abundance doesn't always mean material things. This is the one thing that like hit me. Because I thought, you know, in my journey that it's like, ⁓ you know, your success is equated to your bank account or ⁓ how well you take care of your body or the car that you drive or the house that you live in ⁓ What What abundance actually looks like is peace in your mind. You know, whenever you can have those still slow moments, emotional stability, healthy relationships, joy again, rest without guilt, which is one of my favorites in this season. Feeling connected to yourself again, waking up with hope again. Okay. And that deeply matters to God and it should deeply matter to you. So I just want to invite you to a pause for a second. Are you guys giving yourself that space to actually lean into that type of abundance versus what the world is saying that you should do or what you should be? Are you giving yourself that moment to actually lean into that? What does that look like for you? Those moments of pause are so good 'cause it gives me a moment to stop and just have a sip of some coffee or some tea. Because again, my allergies are wild here in Pittsburgh. So here we are. Getting that recharge rate. Okay. So it's time to share. It's time to share, friends. I like giving context, but I also like for you guys to know like who is this woman? Why is she talking to me about this stuff? How does she even know? Like how does she how do I even know to like listen to her and to believe her? Well I ask you to ask the Lord, is this a person that I should be listening to? And I pray that you can see the fruit of what God has done and what he's continuing to do because he's so merciful and he's so gracious and his grace is sufficient and it's he's just so awesome. But let's go into a little bit of a testimony time. Okay. So I know for me personally, there were seasons of my life where I became so used to functioning under pressure that I didn't even recognize that I was deeply rooted in survival mode and how it truly has shaped me. Okay. Listen, I could still perform, I could still lead, I could still show up, I could still smile, I could still build, I could still pour into everything else. But inwardly, guys, I was exhausted. I think so many women become incredibly high functioning while silently falling apart. And honestly, that leads to emotionally falling apart as well. Right? Because I believe that we normalize constant stress, nervous system overload, emotional burnout, anxiety. Hyperindependence, which should totally have been there. Carrying everyone else's emotions and never resting mentally. But eventually, your body and your mind and your spirit will start waving those red flags. Instead of slowing down, I find that so many women just push harder because they don't know what it actually means to stop. Right? Because survival mode teaches you, just keep going, don't stop. Don't feel, don't let anyone down, hold it together, smile, show up, come and be, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right. Like you know exactly what I mean, friend. And eventually be you become so focused on surviving life that you forget how to slow down and how to actually live it. Did anyone else resonate with that? Because that was a huge realization for me. And then I asked myself, wait a minute, did I actually do this for myself? Did God call me to this? Or is this something that I put on myself? That's again, the thief comes in to still kill and destroy, right? But I realized God never asked me to destroy myself by trying to carry everything else alone. Right. So leading into this moment with you guys, what is survival mode? Survival mode is more than just being busy, guys. It's when your nervous system and your emotions and your mind become stuck in constant protection mode. Have you been there? Have you ever been there? It often develops through trauma, heartbreak, disappointment, chronic stress, burnout, motherhood, overload, toxic environments, fear, instability, betrayal and pressure. I'm sure the list will continue to go on, but those are the things that I came up with. And the dangerous thing about survival mode guys is it can make dysfunctional feel normal. Which is scary. You know, you become used to rushing or overthinking or controlling worrying, people pleasing, emotional shutdown shutdown. But that peace starts to actually feel very unfamiliar. Where is the peace anymore, guys? Whenever we're overthinking things, when we're rushing it, you can't have peace there. Because it's almost like the two cannot exist. It's like oil and water. Peace is coming in to just just to remain ⁓ calm and you know, but whenever you're rushing things and you're overthinking things, it's almost like that calm gets suppressed, right? And it doesn't even exist anymore. So that is when that peace can start to become to f to be unfamiliar, right? I believe that many women don't need any more motivation. What they need is healing. That's what I needed. Okay. Because healing. Is what allows you to stop living from constant fear, pressure, and emotional exhaustion. You know. And one thing that I've learned through this whole journey is that survival mode often disconnects us from presence, you know, presence with God, ourselves, our family, our emotions, our purpose. That's the big one. Our purpose. Are you kidding me? Because when your mind is constantly in fight or flight. You struggle to rest internally. Has anyone else ever been there? Even when you physically stop moving, it is so hard to just rest. I remember guys, there'd be times where I'd just be laying in my bed in the evening and I'm like, why can I not get my mind to stop racing? Because I'm thinking of the grocery list and I'm thinking of the things that need to get done and what didn't get done today and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like this internal rat race of just like ⁓ my gosh, like when is enough enough? Like I need to just stop. Right. And but stopping, in my opinion, I almost felt like You know, it would amplify the the the noises in in the lives even louder because I didn't know how to actually rest and how to actually be. You know, and I think that there are women right now that are listening to this who are physically present in rooms but emotionally absent because their minds are carrying so much weight. You know, Jesus never modeled frantic living. So what the heck are we doing? Why are we out here thinking that this is the way that we need to do this? You know, yes, he carried responsibility and yes, he carried You know, he served people and served people super well, right? And he fulfilled his purpose and praise God for that. But he also withdrew, right? He rested, he prayed, he paused, he connected, he breathed. Guys, that's what matters here. Because if Jesus prioritized stillness and connection with the Father, then why the heck do we think that we need to constantly be going and constant exhaustion is holiness because it is not. Take that for a moment and just pause there because holy man, like that is a whole thing right there. Like just take a deep breath. Take a deep breath in this moment. Right. Why do we think that exhaustion is holy? It's not. And I want to invite you into this space to just pause wherever you are, take a deep breath, and release the lies. Let's do it together. Ready? Let's do it. Yeah. I feel like sometimes the hardest thing to do and the hardest thing to release truly is just a version of ourselves that helped us survive in difficult seasons. Like I needed to grieve that woman. I needed to release that woman. I needed to be okay with that woman dying to self, right? Because maybe survival mode, guys, once protected you because I know it totally did for me because of the trauma and things that I faced in my life, right? Maybe it helped you push through hard things but You know, that hard thing, that hard push probably led to exhaustion and burnout like it did for me. Maybe it kept you functioning well while life felt unstable, but at the end of the day, that foundation just crumbled because it wasn't built on a solid foundation. Right? Eventually survival version, that survival version of yourself, guys, cannot become the permanent version of you. So we needed to be okay to grieve that woman and to release her and to let her know that it is okay to heal. And it is okay to be and truthfully guys, even through therapy and I love therapy and I love talking to mentors. I love talking to people that can help me heal. But I got a really good piece of advice one time. It's like go back and hug that younger version of yourself that just needed a hug. And for me, trauma started at the age of seven. ⁓ and I remember whenever I was doing a singing competition and I was on stage and I froze. It was stage fright. And I remember my mom was on stage right. I remember st I still remember seeing her. And I remember whenever the music started playing, the piano started going and I was supposed to start singing and then I froze and then I remember looking over to the right at my mom and she was waving to me to come, right? And that moment I instantly felt shame. I instantly felt like I let her down. I felt shame because I just bombed that thing, right? And I'm sure, you know, people were probably like, What the heck is this about? You know, people could be laughing, whatever. And at that moment I just I just knew that I just felt like so shameful. And I felt like I let my mom down. Meanwhile Now that I'm a mother, I see that my mom was just trying to protect me. She was just trying to keep me safe, which any good mother would do, right? And I'm sure that I would absolutely do for my kids. I probably actually, you know, like my flesh would want to run out of there and just like grab them and scoop them up. But that for me, friends, was the version of me that I needed to go back and I just needed to hug the seven year old version of Miranda and I needed to tell her that it was okay and that she was gonna be okay. And that it is okay to not always be okay. It's okay to have fear. Not to stay stuck into fear. You know, it was okay to have those moments of, you know, feeling that, you know, shame andor that I disappointed somebody, but it was not okay to stay stuck there. And I didn't know how to not stay stuck there. So that's what triggered for me my performance mentality. Well, if I just do everything that people need for me to do, or if I can just smile through these things, I'm not gonna disappoint anybody, or I'm not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna rock the boat. And it like easier just to smile and act like everything was okay. Even inwardly, it was like, man, like I wasn't even being true to myself. And this isn't like a pity party. This is truthfully to say, like, I've been there, right? I've absolutely been there. And I needed to be okay with like releasing that seven-year-old version of myself. So, you know, even this might be a moment just to invite you into this space where it's like if you have that moment that you needed to go back and hug a version of yourself and just let her know that it's okay. And it's okay to To lay down the pain. It's okay to lay down the hurt. It's okay to lay down the confusion, the fear, the worry, whatever is popping up for you. Guys, I just invite you into that space just to lay that thing down and just to forgive yourself for carrying it. Because for me, for so long, I carried it for so long. And then that is what, you know, honestly evolved me into being like a people pleaser and to getting myself into situations that I never should have been in. You know, that's whenever work mentality took over where it was like, Well, you just gotta hustle, you just gotta go, you gotta be, you don't need a man, you got this. You know, you can do this, right? But at the end of the day, it's like, guys, we were not created for that. We're called to be helpers. We are women, we are called to be helpers. But we're not called to be caretakers. We're not called to be lifesavers. We are called to to help and to guide. And I believe that that's exactly what this ministry is right here. So praise God for all of those hard moments because I feel like now I face that, right? I'm well rounded that I can help guide people out of the fire because I've been there, right? But at the end of the day, that survival version, guys, cannot become the permanent version of you. So just I invite you into that space. Go give her a hug. Go tell her it's okay and let her be free. Right. Because survival versions, guys, they're built around protection, truthfully. But the healed versions of us are built around freedom. Praise God for that. And freedom. requires trust. So what does trust look like? Okay. If you're like Miranda, like this is heavy. Like I know, I know it's heavy. And it's okay. It's okay that it's heavy. If you need to stop and pause and breathe, do it. Okay. If you need to come back to this, absolutely do it. But I want to invite you to stay in here. I want to invite you to stay into this space. Lean into the moments that are hard. It's like leaning into those moments that are really tough because I'm telling you, I feel like there's purification that's happening in this moment. Trusting trusting is hard. But trusting is so freeing. Okay. So when I say that freedom requires trust, guys, trusting means trusting God with the future. Your future and also the future of your family, the future of what is to come. Trusting yourself again, trusting rest, trusting boundaries, trusting slowing down. That was a hard one for me, but now I love like an afternoon nap. And that doesn't mean that you are weak. It just means that you are smart. You're plugging into you and you're choosing rest over you know, just going after it and burning yourself out, you know. Trusting trusting to be able to receive help. That was a hard one for me. You can That can definitely feel uncomfortable at first. I understand. I have been there. I I have been there one hundred percent. Especially for the women who are used to being the strong one. Anyone else? Anyone else? Yep. Amen. I'm sure. I'm sure your head or your head is going. Or you're saying amen. Or you're like, that is me, girl. I have been there, right? So I just want to let you know that trust is where freedom comes from. Then I want to invite you into that freedom today with me. I would invite you into that space with me that it might feel hard, but friend, ⁓ it is so worth it. It is so worth it. So let's get into a few more moments that are going to allow for us to reflect before I leave you today. You know, and I want to leave you with some honest questions. And I really encourage you, don't just listen to this, but actually like sit with them and let it do some heart heart reconstruction. Okay. Journal them, pray through them. Guys, there's so many times where I love grabbing my phone. And I get like the voice the voice notes and I just talk into it. If I get a word, I talk into it. If I have a journal next to me or some paper and pen, you bet yourself. I'm journaling everywhere that I can. And I wanna encourage you also get a journal and like stick with one journal. I have one journal. I used to journal in multiple journals, guys, and like I would forget where I would put everything. So I want to encourage you to journal. I'm even having like little tabs here that I can reference of, this is what I was talking about in this, right? So there could be like a healing part of your journey. There could be words that you're given, like words of knowledge. There could be wisdom that you're receiving. There could be like your to-do list, you know, if you can get a journal for yourself, I definitely think that that's awesome. But whatever way you learn, whatever way you can process, I want to encourage you to do. What would change? ⁓ Would you allow yourself more time to tune into you and to plug into you? Would you give yourself more more moments just to pause or mo more moments to maybe declutter? Right. I allowed myself to to to absolutely lean into that version of ⁓ instead of being a super intense business owner, I felt like God was calling for me to shut the door to the business. And guys, this business was very successful on paper. There was no specific reason that I needed to shut it other than the fact that he was calling for me. There it is, calling for more. Calling for more. Maybe that's why this exists. I don't know. But but here we are. So being able to not be so busy allowed space to plug in here with you guys. So praise God for that. But I realized that that needed to change that performance mindset, that toss mindset. When I realized that I didn't need to carry that anymore alone, I needed to lay that thing down. It's not an idol in my life. Money is no longer an idol. Praise God. Success is no longer an idol. It was at one point in time, 100%. But let me tell you what changed is I got my peace back. I got joy back. I got trust in my in myself, trust in God, trust in my husband again. Trust in the space that I was creating, that we were creating together. Who are you underneath the pressure to constantly hold it all together? I realized for me that it wasn't just about being the business owners and meaning we have a few different businesses and a few different things that we tap into. But the one main thing is I formerly a hairstylist and I've been doing it for nineteen years this year, which is just incredibly wild to even say ⁓ but who am I outside of being that who am I who am I outside of being a wife, a mom, a provider? protector, right? Those were never my roles to carry, provider or protector. That was typically actually the word says that my husband does that, right? So whenever I learned to just surrender control and allowed for my husband to be in his rightful place, that absolutely things started shifting. Absolutely a lot of healing had to come from that and we will absolutely get into an episode on that and I'm excited to talk with you guys about that. But right now I realized that I just needed to release the false titles that I allowed for myself to carry. And allow myself to be able to just lean into being a daughter, being a wife, a mom, a friend, a mentor, just someone that just wants people to be set free. And let me tell you, even saying that out loud to you guys just feels so much more peaceful versus like it doesn't feel as busy even as it's coming off my lips. So praise God for that. So guys, before we head out today, I just want to encourage you, every single person that is listening, please listen to me. Deeply and hear me clearly. Okay. You do not have to earn rest. You do not have to prove your worth through fighting exhaustion. Okay. You do not have to destroy yourself trying to be everything for everyone. Because God cares about your soul. He cares about your peace. He cares about your emotional well being. He cares about your healing. And freedom is possible. Let me tell you, I'm walking in it. I am living proof of a loving God. Absolutely. It doesn't happen overnight and it's not perfect. Okay. But slowly and intentionally. And honestly, it will come. Okay. So I just want you guys to know that I'm here for you. I'm excited for you. Man, I feel like these these are like these are heavy, but they're so good. They're so good. They're so good. So let's just ⁓ if you gotta go, go ahead and go. I bless you with love and peace and joy. But I also just want to pray over you guys real quick as we're heading into The rest of the day. I'm thankful that you guys were able to just unplug from your world a little bit and plug in here. So let's just go out in prayer and let God do what he wants to do. Amen. Amen. God, thank you so much for this. Thank you so much for this moment. Thank you so much for every single woman listening today. God, I thank you. I thank you. I thank you. For the woman who is exhausted emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically. I thank you that she's here. Thank you that she is leaning in right now. And I want her to know, God, that we are praying for her. I thank you that you've invited her into this space of deeper healing. And we are praying for her. God, I I I I just thank you, Lord. I thank you, Lord, for the woman who has carried so much for so long that she no longer is remembers what peace feels like. I thank you. I thank you for her. I pray that you would begin restoring her from the inside out. Jesus mighty name. Teach her that she does not have to live in constant fear or pressure or striving on. Help her release the weight that she was never meant to carry alone. Bring healing to her mind, God, right now. Calm to her nervous system and peace to her spirit. And remind her that you are not asking her to prove her worth through exhaustion. Lead her back to rest, God. Wholeness and freedom. And I just I just invite you in, Holy Spirit, just to bring peace to where your daughter is listening from right now, God. Just give her rest, give her peace and give her joy. In Jesus' mighty name, Amen. You guys. I love you. This is so much fun. ⁓ my goodness. Guys, I want to invite you. If this inspired you today, would you send this to a sister that needs it or that's popping up in your heart right now? I pray that this, you know, that this soaked you as it's so to me as you know, Holy Spirit giving these downloads and we're able to have the opportunity to create it. But you know what? This might be for someone who you know is silently carrying something more than she even realizes, right? And remember that you are never meant to just survive your life. You were meant and created for freedom, healing, peace, and purpose. Guys, I love you so much, and I'll see you in the next lesson.