Breaking Free From Performance Mentality - 03

Miranda leigh stull: Okay, have you ever looked around at your life and realized that you've become so good at functioning that nobody notices that you're exhausted? I mean, like you're showing up, you're taking care of people, working, leading, building, smiling, serving, but inwardly you feel disconnected from yourself. Has anyone else felt that? I think one of the greatest struggles that women silently carry right now is the pressure to perform. And while we're secretly falling apart emotionally. And today we're gonna go there. So welcome back, guys. I'm so excited that you were here. my gosh. Coming in swinging hot. Let's go. I'm just so pumped that you guys are here and we're gonna go deeper. For those of you who do not know me, my name is Miranda. I'm so excited that you're here, that you were plugging in, you're unplugging from your everyday life, and you were just plugging in here with us at made for more guys. ⁓ my gosh, I love. I love everything that this is becoming because there's wild heavenly downloads that I feel like people need to be set free from, you know, and honestly opportunities to be able to serve and steward, you know, God's women better and you know, so Before we dive into the conversation today, I just want to take a minute, welcome you here. And also, Holy Spirit, God, I thank you that you are here. So let's just tune in real quick for prayer and then we're gonna get on, get into it, okay? Holy Spirit, come, God, we welcome you here. God, we welcome you here. I thank you, Lord. Just lead this conversation. Speak through these words, bring clarity, peace, provision, healing, connection, and truth to every single woman listening right across this platform, Lord. Thank you. And let it just be more than just another episode, let it be a place. where women feel seen, safe, and reminded of who you are and who you've created for them to be. Jesus' name, amen. Let's go. Let's go. Okay. So before we jump in, I just want to say thank you guys so much because the messages that are coming in of people saying things like this feels safe. You know, I finally feel understood. I thought I was the only one feeling this way. And honestly, guys, this is what this moment was created for. This podcast, this moment, this hangout session between us. ⁓ because right now the first few episodes are really just about us getting to know each other, right? You know, my heart, my story, a little bit of my story, the mission, the behind the scenes space, you know. we're gonna go deeper into testimony and why I'm here, what this even is. Maybe I'll even see if my husband will come on here and we can talk about You know, some things we've overcame, but I'd like to share my personal journey with you as well. But honestly, just giving you the meat and potatoes, the context, the real talk about all of this, guys, you know, because at the end of the day, if it is not real, then it is not worth it to me. Right. I don't want any counterfeits. I don't want any unintentional moments of just what I'm listening to. I want it to come in and I want it to go to your head and to your heart and allow this thing to sink in and, you know, and allow Holy Spirit just a course correct if that is what he needs to do for you in this season. So I just want to thank you guys for being supportive and just ⁓ you know, just excited with me alongside of me again, because this is new, guys. I'm literally not in a studio. I'm nowhere else other than my bedroom right now. It's quiet here. The kids are at school. My husband's on his way home from work. Honestly just heard him, I think, coming in right now. And I love it because it's we get the space just to do this in the cracks of our day and just to keep it real. You know, I don't ever want to come on here and have it be like a performance. You know, we we've had enough of that in life. We've had enough of that in life and I'm over it, right? And so I think the biggest thing also just coming to this talk today about it's not about performance, like We've all been there where it's this space where you feel like you gotta go and do and be and perform and have it perfect. And if it isn't perfect, then it's not enough. I just wanna come here, say that is a lie, and we're gonna debunk this today, okay? We are debunking all of this. Because this is why that this podcast is created, guys. This is why this moment's created for us, right? Because right now it is about unplugging from your world. Of the lies and the busyness and just the chaos, right? And I pray that you just give yourself a moment just to kind of take a big breath and say, okay, God, like what do you want to do today? God, like what does it look like for you? How can you get the glory through my life today versus the busyness, you know, taking over? So ⁓ but the whole goal for this, I want to share this with you guys is like eventually we're gonna be bringing in real conversations with women and leaders and you know, and and again, I told you guys at the very beginning, this might not just be a space just for women. Right now, yeah, we're coming in, we're hanging out as women, but we're just gonna let Holy Spirit grow this thing to where. it's supposed to. So it might be conversations with other, you know, leaders and people that I feel like Holy Spirit has given me, you know, ⁓ mentors and, you know, just trust. And also again, I cannot state this enough. Like I will always leave this thing with God, my husband, and my kids. And everything else comes underneath that. And that's just the priority that I choose to live my life in. So this is why I feel that, you know, outside of the people that I get the opportunity to mentor and my husband gets to mentor separately, I believe that we're gonna do a lot of things together. So I think that there's gonna be some things in here that, you know, ⁓ just because of me and Bill's story and our journey, it's gonna be what help set some other people free as well. But then also I believe that it's going to give, you know, maybe some road work, ⁓ some of like a foundational setting for people that maybe are in the waiting seasons and ⁓ what does it actually look like to have a biblical marriage and to have all these things. So But we can't get any into any of that until we get into understanding how to get rid of number one, knowing our identity, number one. Praise God, that was the first episode. Number two, getting rid of survival mode. Like get that thing out of here. And now we are beating performance mentality. Get that thing out of here. Because once we're able to get in alignment with all of the things that we are supposed to do, guys, the other conversations, they're just gonna make more sense. I truly feel, but I feel like this is the structure that Holy Spirit has given me of understanding what. What does it actually look like to, you know, to understand your identity and then to go from identity to getting rid of survival mode and understanding the truth and now coming into, you know, breaking performance mentality? Because again, I was there and I'm excited that I'm no longer there, praise God. And if this is gonna be something that can help inspire you or convict you to look from within and to heal, that is awesome. Right. So this is just I'm I'm excited that you guys are here. I'm very pumped that, you know, we're making intentional space and intentional time and we're growing together. And listen, as you know, as this continues to grow to whatever it's supposed to be. You know, I trust that it's gonna evolve naturally as it's supposed to, but for right now we're working with what we got. And for that, we're grateful. Cheers. I love you guys. Before we get in, let's get a sip of our tea or our coffee and get ready ⁓ to get to what the Lord has given us because we're talking about the woman behind beneath the performance. And we're gonna leave all the performance here today and we're gonna become the woman that we were always called to be. Amen. Let's go. Okay. Man, I know that this conversation's gonna hit home for a lot of people. Cause I'm already feel like I'm already feeling Holy Spirit moves. So thank you, Lord. Okay, so I told you guys, whether you've listened before or this is your first time plugging in. I will not leave anything just out of my own words, out of Miranda's words. I truly want you guys to understand because maybe there's some of you on here that you don't know me yet. You don't know like the you don't know me. Judge it by the fruit. Go to the word. What does the word say? Judge them by their fruit. So anything that I feel that I'm getting an opportunity to speak on, I truly want you to know that I've asked for Holy Spirit just to seek my heart and to give me wisdom and knowledge on how to share the things that He's given me. ⁓ And he's always leading into scripture. Of course he is, because he's so intentional. So the scripture that I want to build today around is Matthew 11, 28. Okay. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Not pressure, not performance. Not prove yourself first, but rest, period. Rest. Doesn't that just feel right? It just feels good, right? It used to make me cringe, you guys. Rest. What do you mean? If you're not going and doing and being and getting all these things done, then you're missing out. Guys, I'm so over that. I feel like we live in this world where like hustle cart culture is such a real thing. And just like y we're missing it. We can be so missing it. Right. I think so many women love God but still live every day carrying crushing internal pressure. And I'm so over that. Like I'm so over that pressure to hold it all together or the need to be strong or to be needed, to keep producing, to not disappoint people, to maintain appearances, to keep everyone happy. Have you been there? 'Cause I've been there, absolutely. And eventually we become so focused on outward performance that we will lose connection to what's actually happening internally. So personal story time. Ready? I remember that there was a season in my life where things looked ⁓ fine, you know. quote unquote fine. You know, from the outside, it's like, do you know how many people guys would look and be like, man, your life looks so good. And it's like, yeah, because we do a really good job at just showing the highlight real, but like to actually show the real real? Like are we actually gonna do that? Right. Because if we do that, then that's gonna allow for people to see the cracks and the bumps and the bruises and You know, the the world does a really good job, like I said to you guys before, even in the last podcast, that the thief comes in to steal, kill, and destroy. So he does a really good job at making you feel like, well, if you're showing the truth, then you look weak or you you're a mess, or this could be messy. You know what I mean? I don't care how messy it is. I love the fact that God took my mess and he's turning it to the message right now. Like, look at this. Praise God. Because listen, guys, I was building, I was working, I was leading. I was doing. I was pouring into people. I was showing up for my family. I was taking care of my responsibilities. But guess what? When someone asked me how I was doing, I would truly probably just say, Good. I'm good, right? But inwardly I was so tired in a way that like sleep could not fix it. The only thing that could fix it was Jesus. And I'm keeping it real. And this is honestly, remember, I'm already walking with the Lord at this point, right? I already know, I know of God, right? I don't know that I can say that I was like fully walking into my purpose, but like sleep could not fix this, guys. Rest couldn't fix it. Because there is a difference between being physically tired and soul tired. Like, have you do you understand what I'm saying? Okay. Soul tired. This is very real, okay? It's when you've been carrying too much emotionally. You've been surviving too long. You know, you've ignored your own needs repeatedly. Has anyone else been there? I know that I'm not speaking to myself right now, guys. Come on. ⁓ that you've been strong for everybody else. You've been performing instead of processing. I think so many of us, you know, have become experts. It appearing that we're okay while inwardly we're overwhelmed, we're disconnected, we're anxious, we're emotionally numb. Right. And I didn't even realize that this was happening, guys. I didn't know how to slow down intentionally. Like at the end of the day, I was like, I I I feel like I'm okay, but until you're not, right? Even when I was physically rested, my mind was still running. Like, how about you guys? Like, I remember laying there in the evenings and I was like, after the kids went down, I was still planning what am I gonna do for tomorrow? Or, you know, ⁓ still carrying the weight of the day or still worrying or still performing mentally, right? And God began to show me, guys, he's like, Marina, you don't need to perform your worth. And that hit me so deeply, okay? It hit me so deep. Because I think many women unknowingly tie their value to how much that they accomplish, to how much that they give, how much that they are needed, and how much that they can handle, right? But God never asks us to earn our value through exhaustion. Let me say that part again. God never has asked you to earn your value through exhaustion. That means he's not gonna have you go so hard that you're you're gonna get burnout, that you're gonna face burnout, that you are gonna be snippy with your spouse, that you're gonna be snippy with your kids, that you're gonna be snippy with your coworkers that you are going to just, you know, get mad whenever you're driving and somebody cuts you off in traffic and then you just react, right? That comes out of exhaustion, you guys. Okay. But he's never asked us to earn our way through exhaustion. Okay. So big breath. Okay, we're gonna talk about performance identity and how to be able to release this thing. Okay. Because today we're gonna get free. We are getting free. And I am determined that we are gonna get free. If you are willing to grow, you're willing to look in, you're willing to be real with yourself and meet yourself right where you're at. I believe that freedom can come, healing can come, right? Because I think that this is one of the biggest spiritual and emotional struggles that women face daily. Is that performance identity says I'm valuable when I achieve XYZ, right? I'm worthy when I produce. I matter when people need me. I can rest once everything else is done. I have to hold everything else together. You know, and the problem with performance identity, guys, is it never lets you fully be able to breathe. Pause. Take a breath. Where are you at right now? Are you able to be present right here? Are you able to be where your feet are? Whether you're driving in your car, whether you are taking care of your kids, whether you're doing laundry, whether you are running at the gym, whether you are listening to this on a walk, are you able to just fully breathe right now? Breathe. Listen, because there's always gonna be another task. There's always gonna be pressure. There's always gonna be another expectation. There's always gonna be responsibility. And eventually when women begin living like machines instead of humans, you are going to act like that and you will face burnout. And I can promise you that. We are humans. And we are human beings, not human doing. So that's another thing right there. I don't know who that's for, but just remember, it's not about what you do. It's about how you are. It's it's your being. It's it's you just to be, to be right here and to be present, right? And I need women to hear this today, okay? That you are allowed to be human because that's exactly who you are. You are not Jesus, okay? You are not him. You know, we're perfectly imperfect. We are allowed to rest, guys. We are allowed to heal, to feel, to process, to slow down, to ask for help, to have boundaries, to not carry everything alone. Let me tell you something, friends. That does not make you weak. It makes you honest. It makes you honest. And that's so beautiful to me. And it's healing because it's almost like you are, guys, like you are releasing pressure off of yourself. Whenever you understand your moments of which that you can go and how you can go no more and how you can allow yourself just to rest, right? It makes you honest. And I want to invite us into a deeper moment right now, guys. Like, okay, let me ask your permission first off. Can I say something that may challenge some women lovingly? Yeah, okay, thanks. Because sometimes we hide behind performance because performance feels safer than vulnerability. Because if we stay busy enough, guys, we don't have to slow down long enough to feel what's really happening inside. And I think that there are women l that are listening right now who have been distracting themselves with productivity, numbing in busyness, or avoiding healing through constant motion. But eventually what is buried internally will surface externally. And I can promise you that because I've been there, because your body keeps a score, right? Your emotions keep score, your nervous system keeps score. And God cares deeply for the condition of your soul, not just what you can give, okay? Not just what your output is, not just you, like all the accolades that you can go and do and be. He cares about every detail, right? Guys, I want us to just think about this for a second. You can build a beautiful life outwardly while inwardly feeling so disconnected from yourself. And let me promise you, I've been there. You can be successful, loved, needed, admired, productive, and still secretly struggling. Has anyone else been there? Or am I on this island alone? That's why healing matters, friends. Because healing reconnects you to yourself. to God, to peace, to presence, to wholeness. And I truly believe that many women are not lazy at all. They're emotionally exhausted. And I believe that there's truly a difference. I truly believe that there's a difference because again, the world does a really good job in making you say that feel that if you're not going and doing and being and if your house isn't perfect and if your car is a mess and if you show up and your hair's not done and all these things, then you're not enough. You're you're sloppy. You're lazy. I rebuke that. Right now. I rebuke it, because it's a lie. So as we're going into this next part, guys, and we're gonna go into a little bit deeper with some honest questions for ourselves. And I really do not want you to rush pat rush past them. So if you need to pause this, like as I say it, pause it and listen. Okay. I really want you to sit with them as you're going out throughout your day, throughout your week, you know, if if God brings you back to this moment to just kind of reflect, I really want you to just be ⁓ intentional with this moment. because I believe that this is where the breakthrough is gonna happen. Okay. So, big breath. We got this. ⁓ we got this, we got this, we got this. Okay. Who are you when you're not performing for people? Who are you? What does that woman look like? What does she do? What makes you happy? What gives you peace? What gives you rest? What are you using busyness for to avoid your feeling? What are you using it for? What are you distracting yourself with? What are you putting in your way to avoid feeling something specific? Have you tied your worth to how much that you can carry? So have been there. ⁓ my gosh, I've been on all of these. Let me tell you, you were not ⁓ doing this healing alone, friends. This is just something that you know I've already had an opportunity to walk through. And I love to be able to even re-walk through moments like this because it's it's just allowing me just to reflect and just be like, Man, you were so good, God. You were so good that I am not bound by this anymore. What was the last time that you truly felt emotionally present in your own life? The last time, guys, that you could just stop and just be present. And what would healing look like for you if you stop trying to earn your worth through exhaustion? That question alone can truly change your life. And guess what? You're the only one that has the answers for this. You are so. As we are going into the rest of the day, the rest of our week, I want every woman that's listening to know you do not have to become smaller to be loved. You do not have to become exhausted to be valuable. You do not have to carry the weight of the entire world to prove your worth. That's a big one right there. And maybe healing starts with simply admitting, I'm tired. Okay, God, I give up. I surrender. I need rest. I need healing. I need a mentor. I need help. I don't want to live in survival mode anymore. Guys, that is honesty. It is not weakness. And let me promise you that there is so much strength that comes out of a woman whenever she can openly admit that she cannot do this on her own. And that honesty begins to set you free. And I can promise you that. I can promise you. I truly believe. Although this is a shorter moment together, guys, I believe that this is a very impactful moment. I really, really do. And I just want you guys to know that I am so here for you and I'm so excited for the breakthrough that I believe that if you're actually allowing yourself to go deeper with these reflection questions and allowing yourself just to be encouraged by asking God in every single area of your life. And to let them know that you do not want to carry this anymore. You want to lay this thing down so you can become everything that you were called to be. And then more and more, more, more, more, more, God. More peace, more joy, more love, more overflow, more abundance, more resources in Jesus' name, more opportunities and ways to inspire people around you and to impact the kingdom of God. But most of all, I just speak more freedom over you right now in Jesus' name. So excited for you guys. I'm so excited for your healing. And listen, if this inspired you, would you please share this with somebody that you think that this could impact as well? Or that you think that what needs a little bit of healing, or that needs a little bit of a reminder, that they're not too far gone, that they're not lost, they are perfectly right where they need to be. And if they truly learn to surrender this thing, God can do so much. Literally in the blink of an eye. Remember, guys, that this is literally where healing begins because performance ends here. It stays here. Because you were never created to just survive life, guides. You were always made for more. And I hope that you realize that today. I love you and I cannot wait to hang out with you guys again. See you soon.