Protecting Your Peace Isn't Selfish - It's A Priority - 08

Miranda Leigh: Hey friend, welcome back to the Made for More podcast. I'm so pumped that you guys are here today because in this conversation, this one is personal. Last episode we talked about what happens when God starts pulling you out of the old version of yourself and how uncomfortable that growth can feel when you've been used so used to surviving. And if you haven't listened to that yet, guys, pause this, go back and listen to it because this one is going to make so much more sense and understanding that we are no longer in survival. But what does it actually mean for the next step? And guys, the next step comes right after your release of survival, and that is protecting your peace. And that is what we are going to dive into today, right? Because once God starts healing you, you begin realizing that not everything deserves access. And that one is a hard one, but that one is 100% truth. Honestly, guys, this can feel so hard when you've spent so much of your life being available for everyone else and not protecting your own peace. So today we're gonna talk about boundaries, emotional exhaustion, protecting your spirit, and what it actually means to walk in peace without feeling guilty for it. So wherever you are today, guys, whether you're driving, cleaning, doing laundry, sitting with your coffee, guys, I'm just so Grateful that we get the opportunity to do life together for a little bit. So I'm so excited that you were here. But before we do anything, let's open us up in prayer. Let's cover this. Because I seriously believe, you know, God wants to just continue to do some heart surgery. So let's just allow him in and rebuke any attack of the enemy because this is going be powerful. So, Jesus, I thank you so much for being our peace in the middle of the chaos. I thank you that you never ask us to carry any burdens that you didn't create us to hold. God, today I Pray for the woman that's listening who feels emotionally exhausted, mentally overwhelmed, spiritually drained, God, whatever it is that she's battling, you know it. Would you help her recognize that protecting her peace is not selfish when you are rebuilding her life? Would you give her wisdom for boundaries? Give her discernment for relationships, give her courage to walk away from what keeps pulling her backwards. Heal the places in her God that still feel responsible for everyone else's healing while neglecting her own. And remind her today that peace is a part of the inheritance as your daughter. I love that one, God. Thank you for that. In Jesus' mighty name. Amen. Okay, so let's dive. Let's talk about why peace feels uncomfortable after survival mode. Listen, let's just keep it 100% honest, guys. There's people that are listening right now who have spent years surviving. Like you might be the person that you've been strong for everybody. You're used to fixing everything, carrying everybody's emotional everything, right? And then like it's almost like you don't know how to function unless that there's chaos or you've lived in fight or flight for years, that peace can feel so unfamiliar, right? Guys, here's the whole rundown for this. We became so attached to urgency or fixing people, overexplaining, rescuing, and carrying emotional weight. But I wanna tell you something, guys. I truly feel with every fiber in my being that God wants to slow us down and heal our nervous system and spirit in this season in order to elevate us. He wants us to go, guys. And then trust me, whenever you can release this, God will finally start to give that peace. He's always wanted to give this to you, but like you're gonna feel that immense like sense of peace because you now have the capacity to receive it, you know. And sometimes it's like hard because it can almost feel like we're feeling guilty for resting in that peace, which is just crazy. And we have to debunk that, guys. We have to rewire our minds and realize that like we We no longer have to feel guilty for any of this stuff, right? Because survival mode trained us to believe that exhaustion equals purpose. But exhaustion is not your identity, friend. And I want you to just be real with yourself right now and ask yourself, have I become so used to the chaos that peace feels uncomfortable to me? And my answer to that question would have been yes. That piece, it's almost like, you know, you've ever heard the phrase like waiting for the other shoe to drop. You know what I mean? I'm sure that there's a hundred other phrases out there, but it's like you're almost just bracing for impact. But like God is here to tell you you don't have to do that anymore. And we need to get into this and understand exactly what does that look like? How can we access this, you know? And honestly, just another tool for our tool belt when we're going out and we're becoming everything that God has called for us to be, guys. But take this in, listen up because this is something that I pray that if you get anything out of it, you get this part. Okay. Listen to me right now, friend. Everyone cannot have access to the new version of you. Right? Not everybody has access to the healed version of you or should have that access, right? Because listen, boundaries are biblical. Jesus loved people deeply but still withdrew often. Okay. Some people only knew the broken version of you and became like they become uncomfortable when you change and that's okay. Like that's not on you. That's on them. Because literally healing changes your tolerance for things like this, guys. And this is something that I really want us just to be real with again. You know, one thing that nobody talks about enough is this that when God changes you, some relationships start to feel different. Let's just keep it real. Not because you think you're better than Anybody, but because your spirit can no longer tolerate what kept you stuck at one point in your life. Okay, you could start noticing constant negativity, draining conversations, gossip, manipulation, emotional dependency. People who only call you whenever they need something, like hello. I'm sure that we all have someone like that. And it's great that, you know, we can be that sounding board for people. But remember, guys, we have to protect our peace because not everybody deserves that instant access to you. Unless if you ask the Lord, hey, is this something that I should be taking on in this season? Right. And suddenly, whenever this has start has this will start to happen, you guys, your spirit feels tired after every interaction. Okay. That is discernment and that is a great thing. That is an absolute great thing to have. And I want to bring us to scripture real quick, guys. Because again, I don't want this to be like, ⁓ Miranda's talking at me. No, we're gonna bring this to scripture and we're just gonna keep it real. Okay. So Matthew 14, 23 says, after he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Okay, so that's basically saying Jesus, after he dismissed, you know, his disciples, the people he was preaching to, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Okay, so let's reflect on this for a second. Even Jesus withdrew to protect his peace and reconnect it with the Father. So why in the heck do we feel guilty for needing space to breathe? Let's just keep it real. Why do we feel guilty? I want you to ask yourself in this moment, guys, while we're navigating, ⁓ man, you know, like, okay, so she's telling me that I don't need to feel guilty for, you know, taking peace or having rest so I can get peace. This is great. Okay, cool. The way that you're gonna get there, guys, is by allowing yourself to answer these questions and allowing what needs to fall off, fall off. Okay. So you can actually get to that space of peace and not feeling guilty anymore. Answer this question guys. Who drains me emotionally every time I leave their presence? it if you need to, reflect on it as long as you need to. Am I constantly rescuing people that God never asked me to carry? My answer 100% was yes to that one. Have I confused access with assignment? Meaning listen. I wanna give everybody access to me at all hours of the night ⁓ and just basically be there for every single person thinking that they are my assignment when keeping it real, guys. Not every person is your assignment. So we have to ask the Lord, God, is this a part of my assignment for this season? Do you want me to mentor this person? Do you want me to have a relationship with this person? And if you feel peace around it, I'm gonna say that that nine chances out of ten could be yes. Okay. But ask him. And if you're feeling that uneasy feeling in your belly or you're just like, Like, man, kind of feels heavy. I'm gonna say nine chances out of ten, the answer is no. But that is between you and the Lord, and let him share with you what that actually looks like. Finally, what would happen if I stopped over-explaining my boundaries? Guys, what would happen? Like no, this is one thing that I love to say. No is a complete sentence. No, period. You do not have to explain yourself. Because saying no to other things means that you say yes to yourself. So I want us in this season to stop feeling guilty for choosing peace, guys. You know, because the biggest thing is boundaries are not punishment. Peace is stewardship and that is so beautiful guys because we cannot pour from an empty place. Mothers especially carry guilt when resting or disconnecting, and I can 100% attest to that as well. But guys, I have to this is one thing that with this point that I have down here, this is such a big one, is that you do not need to answer every message immediately. Like I love to DND my phone. I don't know about you guys, but ⁓ my goodness. DNDing my phone is giving me space that I do not have to feel that I have to respond right away. And it can take, you know, some space to be able to actually pour into what I need to pour into or seek guidance or wisdom before actually ⁓ responding to messages. Because we are allowed to protect our mental and spiritual health. But we have to give ourselves space to actually do that, right? So I really feel this for moms today that some of us feel so guilty every single time we rest. Like we have to constantly produce, answer, fix. Solve, give, show up, perform, etc. Let's just be real. You could keep going on and on and on. But guys, God never called for us to live emotionally available to everybody 24-7. Because if we do that, guys, we are going to be drained. I promise you. And maybe some of you need permission today to put your phone down, stop explaining yourself, say no, and let that be a full sentence right there, leave toxic environments, protect your home, protect your marriage, protect your children, and protect your healing. Because listen, this is like a heart check moment for you guys. Not everybody deserves front row access to a version of you that God had to heal. Let's listen to that again. Not everybody deserves front row access to a version of you that God had to heal. You know, like some people only had access to you when you were bleeding, exhausted, overextending, and abandoning yourself to keep everybody else comfortable. You know, but healing changes all of these things, and that is okay. If anything, guys, it is such a beautiful thing. Because I think at the end of the day, guys, we have to give ourselves that space to really pause and to reflect on truthfully what what does it look like for me? And guys, as a mom, as a wife, you know, as a business owner, now that I'm slowing down with business, it's definitely different because I will even decline some requests that will come in and wanting, you know, people wanting to get their hair done or Something that I have like a conflict with my family, like I say if the kids already have like something for school or you know, Bill has a meeting that night or whatever. If I don't feel peace around it, guys, I will decline it. And here's why because my husband and then my kids come first, and it just is what it is, and it's even gonna be that way with this with this podcast, whatever this evolves into. I have no clue, but like whatever God wants to do, it's always gonna be that first. Because if I don't keep my priorities straight, guys, it's going to be very easy for me to get distracted and for And that could be something that you could even look, you know, from within today as you are navigating what you're going through, whether you are, you know, in a season of singleness, and instead of you just giving everybody access to you and downloading every dating platform and all these things just to feel something, I want to encourage you, what would it be if you actually DD'd? all of that noise and allowed yourself to go to your prayer closet and just be with the Lord. Like be at the feet of Jesus and just say, God, what do you want for me? What do you have for me? You know. Search my heart, God, and share with me, God, what you want me to do. Who do you want me to become in this season? Because until you can become who you were meant to be, guys, in any season that we are going through, whether it's a physical relationship, you know, as far as something that you're like gaining towards from marriage, you know, or even friendship relationships, okay? I will never be the best version of myself for you or for this person until I first become that for me. And I want to share that with you guys as well. You know, maybe you were in a season of motherhood and you're just trying to figure out what the heck do I do here? First time mom, or maybe a mom with multiple kids and now you're trying to figure out the juggling act. You're like, What am I supposed to do? I always wanna say to you guys, like, ask for help. If you never have like if you have an opportunity that you're just like, I have no idea like what to do, or you're just not having peace on something, find a mentor. Find somebody that you can reach out to. I think mentorship is so beautiful. And like I never had that mentor growing up, so I wanted to become the mentor that I never had. So other people, if they ever felt like they were in the same situation, that they would have access to someone that actually cares and wants to go deeper and it's not just about a transaction, but it's about a transformation. And that's truthfully how I live my life and I Whether you're, you know, grieving a job, whether you're grieving loss of some ph physical tangible thing or a loss of a loved one or you name it. All of our journeys are gonna look different, you guys, but we have to give ourselves the space to actually process what does it look like to release the things that I should not carry in this season to be able to come inward and become who I need to be to heal, to grow, to go deeper, you know. Because I find myself in all of these seasons, you know. I lost my dad in August due to Alzheimer's and it was such a weird thing. Like he was battling it for six years, you guys, and I I slowly saw the man who took care of everything for our home and the acres of land that we had and always had this house, you know, looking beautiful. He took so much pride in that and I love that for him. become someone who I didn't even recognize. And I'm telling you, if I didn't have the support system in my life that I had then, or if I had people that were just constantly coming at me for mentorship or whatever guys, I would never have had the capacity to be able to pour into them because I needed to come inward and I needed to grieve and I needed to process what did that loss look like for me, you know, in order to work through it. And now I can talk to people about loss and not feel like it is insanely devastating to me because I know he is, you know, in such a better place. And I know he has no pain and no Alzheimer's and he is free and his mind is just, you know, he he's just living it up. And that's exactly like we all, that's the goal, guys. That is the goal is to once our journey comes to an end. Right? And we make that final account with God. And I want him to say, well done. Look at this. It wasn't about all the things that you accomplished or all the money that you made or all these things. It's about being real and you were able to lead people to me. Right? Which is so incredibly powerful. And I'm so thankful for that. I'm so thankful for that. You know, and truthfully, friends. We could go on and on about whatever season it is that you're going through and if you don't learn to put those boundaries up and protect your peace, it's gonna be very easy to get distracted. you know, school, starting a new business, like taking on another business, you know, taking on care of somebody who can no longer care for themselves. I mean, you can literally just like copy and paste whatever it is that you're going through. But remember, if we do not give ourselves that space to actually come inward, it's gonna be very easy, guys, for us to continue on that never-ending roller coaster of life that will just keep us stuck on. Ever getting off of the crazy train. Like let's just keep it real. And I'm done. I am done with that. I am done of with seeing too many people that are on this thing and they want to get off but they just don't know how. And the biggest thing I will just say is just ask God, like, God, help me. Help me with the right direction. Help me with the right words. Help me with the right opportunities. Right? Because Is maturity, you guys. Peace is wisdom. Peace is healing. And if God is finally rebuilding your life because you have got out of the way and you've allowed for him to actually do it, do not apologize for protecting what he is restoring. Because you are not selfish for needing boundaries. You are not mean for choosing to rest. Okay. You are not wrong for protecting your spirit. And that is just One of the most beautiful things. But again, if this is something that is landing with you and you're like, ⁓ man, like I really I need I need to go deeper on this or I'm feeling super convicted, you know, whether you have a mentor or you're believing for a mentor, you know, guys, there's tons of people out there that you can connect with of just going deeper with that. There's tons of devotionals. I mean, if again send me a DM if you guys are on this episode and you're like, Hey, this is really hitting. Could you send me some, you know, resources? Absolutely. I tons of resources that I can send you guys and I would love to do that. Right. I think the biggest thing here, guys, is just knowing that you're not doing this alone. ⁓ because healing is it it can feel isolating sometimes. But I can promise you that this is something that God wants to do in and through you. And it's like a gift for you to be able to heal so you can go and you can s spread the good news and be the light, guys, without feeling like you were forcing anything. Because your testimony will be the best story that you could ever share. But if we don't have those valley moments of like this is who I was in my grief, this is who I was in my fear, in my shame and whatever. But then God came in and he restored it. And look at who I became then, you know. So I pray that bless you guys today. I love to keep these hangouts, you know, short and sweet as I can, just to allow you space to really be able to digest what is going on. You know, I have a couple people that I want to bring on, and I'm so excited to share these people with you. And I'm putting these out as God is calling for me to put them out and you know, putting these words out there and believing that. You know, even if one person has a heart transformation, then it was worth it. Right? I'm just believing that, you know, there's just gonna be so much more to be able to come, the more that we are able to. Really go deeper with just keeping it real and allowing God to do what only He can do. So hey, before we head out, if this blessed you today, guys, would you share this with somebody that needs this word and let them know that they're not alone in this? Again, you know, setting up those boundaries can feel very isolating, but listen, we are not doing this thing alone. We're not called to live life alone. So definitely let somebody know, whoever's popping in your head or in your heart right now, and they are not. alone and that you see them and that you value them and we invite them in to heal with us. So let's just go out, let's be the light today, and let's just close this up in prayer. and just know that you are right where you need to be friend and I'm so excited for you and I'm so pumped to hear you know these transformations from within definitely hit me up in the DMs. on all the platforms. ⁓ you can have access to me there and I will get back to you when I can because boundaries are beautiful. ⁓ but yeah, just know, friends, that you are not alone in this and it's such a beautiful thing. So I love you. You're not alone. Let's get after it. And let's go s like take the rest of this day by storm and do everything that we can to to release what is not for us, protect the peace, and go and share the good news of what Jesus is doing in your life because I can guarantee you it is going to be such an epic journey and pump for you. So let's just close this out in prayer and then we'll go out and again. I'm just so proud of you. I'm so pumped for you. And God is literally getting so much glory out of this. So I'm so grateful. So, Jesus, I thank you for meeting us here today. Would you continue to teach us how to walk in peace without feeling guilt? Show us where we're where we have allowed unhealthy access to people, places, or things in our lives, God. Would you help us create homes, friendships, marriages, and environments that reflect your peace instead of chaos? Would you heal the woman who feels responsible for carrying everybody else, God? And would you remind them today that you never ask them to save the world, only to stay connected to you? So we surrender the pressure, we surrender the noise, and we choose the peace. In Jesus' mighty name. Amen. Guys, I love you. I cannot wait for our next hangout. It is going to be amazing. Again, please share this with somebody who needs this. And I will see you guys again soon. Love you guys.